


Yesterday, Tomorrow

by OpheliaPending



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Years, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22048708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpheliaPending/pseuds/OpheliaPending
Summary: Buck wanting a fresh start goes out on New Year's Eve to get a kiss at midnight only to find himself in bed with Eddie the next morning, with limited recollection of how he got there
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 8
Kudos: 322





	Yesterday, Tomorrow

Buck combed his fingers through his hair, deciding to forgo the gel in leu of his natural wave. It was the end of a decade and Buck was ready for something new. He turned his face from the left to the right, eyeing himself in the mirror and rubbed the bottom of his nose with his thumb, a cocky grin on his face. He looked perfect. Tonight, was going to be the night. He was going to get a New Year’s kiss.

The lead up in the last few weeks were disappointing to say the least – his offer to spend the evening with Eddie had been promptly rejected with a not-so-convincing lie of having plans. Though, that was probably for the best.

It had only happened once on movie night; Buck had unconsciously stroked Eddie’s cheek and then ran his thumb over his lips, but the look on Eddie’s face when Buck came back to his senses was one he wouldn’t soon forget. That was when he had decided to hold back. Friendly touch was okay; Buck being a tactile person, needed an outlet: a hug here, a pat on the back there. But never anything more. If the urge ever arose, Eddie’s widened eyes full of shock, horror or confusion would remind him of what he would lose.

But keeping an emotional distance was hard. Having to watch himself in an eagle eye view constantly overthinking every action and reaction to the point he almost burned himself out. So, he had finally decided to be done with this. Buck was now on the market.

The rest of the fire fam were busy spending time with their loved ones and family, so Buck had decided he would take this one solo. He was a free agent and was bubbling with excitement of what the new decade would bring him. A couple new faces he was sure. He took a deep breath in and held it before letting it out slowly. Out with the old, and in with the new. He was going to let go of these feelings sealed deep inside of him and embrace something new. And what better way to do that than a New Year’s kiss? He wasn’t planning to have sex – he wasn’t the old Buck and that wasn’t the way he dealt with things anymore. He just needed something fresh. Like a cool drink of water on a warm summer’s day.

And so, he left his apartment, with every intention of starting the new year off with some light-hearted, refreshing fun, and headed for the club.

~*~

Buck’s bleary eyes slowly opened and he took in a breath before stretching his arms and legs out, arching his back to release the tension from the previous night. He blinked a couple times to focus his eyes. He was at home… with no recollection of how he had gotten there. His head was pounding and his mouth was dry. The slight nausea wasn’t helping his currently swirling mind. But something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. There were clothes scattered over the floor. Clothes that weren’t his. Oh god. He guessed completely freeing himself from being Buck 1.0 wasn’t nearly as easy as he thought. And now that he thought about it, his bed was warmer than usual. Like a lot warmer. He scrunched his eyes and braced himself for the awkward encounter he was about to have and looked to the other side of the bed. And sure enough, under the blanket was a sleeping man.

Bucks mouth dropped open as his eyes flung wide… Eddie? 

_“Next ones on me party people!” Buck shouted with his arms splayed wide to his newly made friends. He whipped the purple feather boa he had acquired over his shoulder and pushed up his 2020 glasses. Looking fabulous as he was, he ordered a round of tequila shots for the group. He was having a blast. The music was penetrating his soul with vibrations that shook his entire body. This was his moment – he had to dance on the bar. He looked to the guys next to him as if encouraging them to do the same. His vision was wavering and it felt like trying to stand on a rocking boat but he managed to prop one leg onto the barstool. Both hands clasped the damp, sticky bar and he leaned forward, trying to shift his weight to pull himself up. He only managed to get his knee on the counter before he slipped. Buck stumbled backwards and felt the world sway around him._

_Big hands wove around his waist and his head crashed into a firm chest. Buck dragged his fingertips along the surly arms and down to the hands of his saviour. He played with the man’s fingers, intertwining them with his own. The coarse skin felt somehow comforting._

_“My hero,” he sang._

_“Buck,” the man said, in a low gravelly voice._

_Buck lifted his head just enough to glimpse the underside of the mans face. Eddie? What was he doing there?_

_“I think it’s time we got you home.”_

_“Nooooo,” Buck whined, “It’s almost the new year!” He pointed to the big countdown splayed over the wall, the numbers were blurry but he had a pretty good idea what it said. He clenched down onto Eddies arms and leaned over, using him for support, as he squinted and jutted his head forward. 11:38pm? Or was it 11:33pm? He didn’t know._

_He sloppily pointed back to the clock. “Seeeee, we got minutes.” He turned around, now facing Eddie with one hand still firmly on Eddie’s arm. Buck brought his other hand to Eddie’s face, cupping around his cheek before giving him a good ol’ pat on the face, “Lighten up Eddie-Edstar! Let’s dance!”_

Oh god. He looked to the man next to him. _Did they…?_ He grasped and ripped the sheet from his body. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He was naked. They both were. Buck pushed the sheet back down in a fierce effort to cover himself, face redder than a house on fire. _They did._ ….Right? This time Buck slowly lifted the sheet, enough to get a clear view of Eddie’s well-toned arse and hurriedly shoved the sheet back down. Yeah. That just about confirmed it. Heat rushed to his face and pooled through his entire body. He was hot and sticky and racking his brain trying to remember the previous night.

_Just as they entered Bucks apartment, Eddie shoved him against the door, hands gripped around the collar of Bucks jacket and crashed his lips onto Bucks, hungrily kissing him. Buck kissed back, weaving his hands around the back of Eddies neck and through his hair but it wasn’t enough. He wanted more. Buck slipped his leg between Eddies, grinding on his lower half. Eddie moaned at the contact and Bucks mind went blank – blind desire taking over._

Buck thumbed his temples, hoping the pressure would alleviate his headache. Was this real life? Or just a fantasy? It wasn’t uncommon for Buck to dream about Eddie… even in compromising positions. But he had already decided not to wreck what they already had. What happened to all his resolve? He looked to the ceiling as if it would know where his integrity went. Buck lifted the sheet and peeked under once more. Just for confirmation. He convinced himself of that anyway. God did he have a nice arse. This was definitely not a dream. What had he done? Was their friendship now doomed? The blood drained from his face. What if… what if Eddie no longer wanted anything to do with him after this? Now he’d done it. Buck went and destroyed the one good thing he had going in his life.

There was only one way he could think to maybe salvage their relationship. _This wasn’t a big deal._ He repeated the thought over and over in his mind until he almost believed it. He would act as if this was a non-issue. Eddie would wake up, and they would pretend this never happened and go back to how they were.

The man stirred next to him and rolled over, hands shifting around to find the sheet. His hazel eyes opened groggily, black circles plainly in view, evidence of his lack of sleep. A nervous flutter erupted deep inside Buck accompanied by an awkward smile upon the realisation of why Eddie wouldn’t have slept.

To Eddie’s dismay he couldn’t find the cotton cover and blinked until his vision cleared. He came face to face with Buck, holding the sheet in the air, staring directly at his junk. That shot of adrenaline woke him right up and he rushed into a sitting position. Eddie rubbed his forehead at the sudden movement. This was too much, too early in the morning.

Buck was caught red-handed. Unintentional though it may be – Eddie had awoken to him, catching a peek. Buck didn’t even realise he was still holding the sheet. His mouth dropped open and flicked his gaze between the exposed flesh and Eddie’s eyes.

Buck stuttered, “I-I uh… It’s not what it looks like.” He was surprised he could manage to talk at all. Bucks hand still firmly held the sheet.

“Can you let go maybe?” he said, trying to cover himself. “It’s a little cold.”

“Not little at all,” Buck blurted. Oh god. It was only the facts but he didn’t mean to say it out loud.

Eddie cleared his throat, looking at Bucks hand that still clearly clenched the sheet above them.

“Oh right,” Buck released his grip and the sheet floated back down.

An awkward silence filled the room. It was almost deafening.

“So uh, that happened,” Buck said, scratching the back of his head.

“Yep,” Eddie popped his lips.

Buck squinted and rose from the bed, snatching a pillow and held it in front of himself. “What… uh what happened exactly?” He just needed to be sure.

Eddie gave him a look, “I’m pretty sure that’s self-explanatory.” He swung his feet over the side of the bed and stood straight up, not bothering to cover himself but clasped his lower back at the sudden prang of pain. “Though my back is a little sore.”

“Sorry…”

“Come on Buck. We’re two consenting adults.”

_Buck traced his fingers over Eddie’s brow, wiping the sweat away before nuzzling his cheek with his nose._

_“Are you sure?” Buck asked again, for what felt like the tenth time that evening. He was laying on top of a mostly naked Eddie, still unsure whether it was okay to take it any further. Buck was already out of breath and his lips were swollen, and Eddie had the beginnings of a glorious stubble rash._

_“Buck, I’m sure–”_

_Buck grabbed the underside of Eddie’s chin and lifted it closer to his mouth._

_“I’ve never been more s–” Eddie mumbled before Buck passionately captured his mouth._

Buck’s heart fluttered. But how? How was this possible? The Eddie that previously gave him that cold, horrific stare was suddenly all too accepting.

“How exactly did we end up here?” Buck asked.

Eddie sighed and walked around the room to find his underwear. “Well, I found you – or you could say saved you – after you tried to dance on the bar.”

“Uh-huh, I maybe remember that.”

“But you wanted to stay because there was still 30 minutes left until the New Year,” Eddie looked down, a pair of black boxer-briefs by his feet. “You didn’t want to go home. You wanted to dance,” he mumbled. Eddie grabbed the article of clothing and slung each foot through the hole and dragged it up his body. “So, you made me dance with you. Then made me grab drinks with you –” Eddie looked Buck dead in the eye, “Tequila and absinthe is not a good combo by the way.” Eddie covered his mouth at the thought. “You wouldn’t stop talking about wanting to be kissed as the new decade ticked over but instead of trying to pick up, you clung to me all night.”

Eddie rubbed the back of his head and headed for the kitchen, “Not that I’m complaining.”

Buck didn’t quite catch that last part.

Eddie went to the fridge and pulled out some eggs and bacon, making sure to lace an apron around his body first.

“You really don’t remember anything?”

“Just bits and pieces,” Buck said, slipping on a dressing gown and sitting on the kitchen bench.

For a moment Buck swore Eddie looked sad, but he had blinked and the emotion was gone. The usual neutral, stoic face remained.

An awkward silence hung in the air between them, only the sizzling pop of the bacon to fill the apartment. Buck had never imagined himself here – Eddie, practically naked, in an apron no less, cooking him breakfast after a full night. Though Eddie’s face didn’t express it, an air of sadness, anger even, surrounded him, as if a wall that were torn down was slowly building back up again. 

Buck could feel the distance between them stacking up and for a moment, looking at Eddie felt like staring at a stranger. A stranger who had no idea what he was feeling. Or who he was. This is exactly what Buck didn’t want to happen. Scraps of a friendship left barely clinging to the surface upon which they were made. Buck swallowed a dry breath. He could still fix this. Maybe if they both just forgot about this night, they could go back to how they were before. All Buck had to do was convince Eddie to believe it was no big deal. He would focus on his own believing later.

Buck looked towards the muscular back in front of him, cooking the fried eggs to perfection and let himself imagine, if only for a moment that this could’ve been real. His heart ached. And that was exactly why this was necessary.

“So,” Buck started, grabbing Eddie’s attention, “Do we pretend this never happened and move on or what?” In Buck’s haste to make things better he made it irrevocable worse.

“What?” Eddie’s voice cracked as the spatula dropped from his hands.

“No, I just meant that we forget this happened and go back to normal, yeah?”

“Are you serious right now?” Eddie raised his voice. He was mad. So mad his eyes were teary.

“Eddie I just don’t want to ruin what we had! You are the one good thing in my life and I don’t want to lose you.”

“Yeah?” Eddie yelled, taking the apron off. “Do you honestly believe it would be better to forget last night happened?”

“I do,” Buck stated, trying to stifle his sadness.

“Well I guess you can’t lose what you never had right,” Eddie’s voice dipped as he hastily grabbed his clothes and stormed out of the apartment.

“Eddie!” Buck called after him, only to be met with his own door slammed in his face.

Smoke filled the room as a violent beeping ripped through the kitchen.

“Shit!” Buck yelled, turning the element off and fanning the smoke away with a tea towel. Those eggs looked exactly as he felt – burned.

Buck turned off the alarm and caught a glimpse of his reflection in the microwave. His eyebrows screwed together, snot dripping from his nose and tears streaming down his face that he didn’t even realise he shed. He nestled his hands over his eyes, not wanting to see.

_The music was turned low, the whole dancefloor screaming along to the countdown._ “Ten!”

_Eddie grabbed Bucks arm, trying to get his attention one last time this decade, “Why are you so obsessed with a New Year’s kiss anyway?”_

“Nine!”

_“Don’t you know? I thought tit’d be pre obvious,” Buck slurred. “I am tryin to get over you.” He looked to Eddie, his whole heart on a platter, bursting with emotion he thought he had buried, “I’m pretty sure I’m in love you.”_

“Eight!”

_Eddie couldn’t believe the words he had just heard. Did Buck really just drunkenly confess his feelings?_

“Seven!”

_“What?” Eddie whispered, holding onto Bucks every last word._

“Six!”

_“I love you,” Buck said, unwavering, not even a shred of uncertainty. In that moment he seemed completely sober._

“Five! Four! Three! Two! One!”

_Eddie grabbed both sides of Bucks face and crashed their lips together._

“Happy New year!”

Oh Fuck. He had confessed to Eddie… and he wasn’t rejected. Oh _Fuck_. He had essentially told Eddie to forget it happened. He pulled at the ends of his hair. What had he done?

The ground was moving beneath him and before he realised, he was running out of the building and onto the street. Eddie was still there, standing on the corner and Buck was so relieved he almost stopped breathing.

“Eddie!” Buck yelled, trying the catch his attention.

A yellow cab pulled up and Eddie clasped the handle.

“Eddie! Wait!” Bucks voice was more desperate than he’d ever been in his life.

Eddie whipped his head around to see Buck, in a poorly tied dressing gown and bare feet, running full charge at him.

Buck stopped a meter shy of Eddie, one hand resting on his knee as he gasped for air, “I love you!” he yelled. This confession echoed through the otherwise empty street. “I love you, Edmundo Diaz!” Buck yelled a little louder.

“I heard you the first time,” Eddie closed the door to the cab, apologising to the driver, “Dummy.”

Buck stood up and lunged into Eddies arms. His heart felt light and floaty and he couldn’t stop the goofy grin taking over his face.

Bucks heart sped to what felt like three times faster than normal and he hurriedly placed kisses up Eddie’s neck and jaw before capturing his lips. The kiss didn’t last for long as Buck couldn’t hold himself back from smiling and tightened his grip around Eddie’s waist. _He wasn’t rejected_.

Eddie wiped the tears and snot from Bucks face, though he was a mess Buck had never looked cuter.

Buck paused, “Wait, if you weren’t going to reject me how come you gave me that look?”

“What look?”

“When I uh… movie night… thumb.”

Eddie knew exactly what moment he meant, as it had been the object of many regretful dreams.

“Oh… Uh well it kind of caught me off guard. And at that point I wasn’t sure whether you were being your usual friendly-touch Buck or if it happened on accident or if I had some food on my face and then I started reading into things that probably weren’t there which was confirmed because you never touched me like that again. I tried to forget that it happened. But that changed everything for me.”

_How cute, he was rambling_.

“That’s part of why I went to the club last night,” Eddie mumbled, looking off to the side.

“Why you…” Buck paused. His eyes opened in a hopeful realisation. “…went to the club?”

“You kept going on about getting a New Years kiss and every time you said that… I started acting weird okay. I was mad and hurt and told you I had plans because if I had seen you as that clock ticked over, I would’ve kissed you and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But I didn’t want you kissing someone else even more.”

“Pfffft,” Buck burst out laughing. All tension washed away from his weary frame.

“Why are you laughing right now?”

“Because,” he giggled, “We’re the same.”

“What do you mean?”

“I held back because I didn’t want to ruin what we had – and now you’re telling me the exact same thing it’s just –” Buck couldn’t finish his sentence through the fit of laughter.

Eddie looked to Buck and chuckled along with him.

“Come here,” Eddie said, lifting Bucks chin and closing the distance between them. “I love you too.”

_The early morning was quiet, birds were chirping and the majority of the block were asleep. Eddie draped one arm over Bucks torso and snuggled closer. The lighting was dim but warm, and the soft glow brightened Bucks skin. Drool was trickling down the side of his mouth but he was still the most heavenly thing Eddie had ever seen. He didn’t know how he got so lucky. Eddie placed his lips to Bucks neck in a brief peck._

_“I love you,” he whispered against Bucks skin and nuzzled into the nape of his neck, before drifting back off to sleep._

**Author's Note:**

> yes i literally strained myself to upload this in time loool   
> hope you enjoy!  
> happy new years everyone!


End file.
